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keep holding on.

September 29, 2010

justin here, and I’m falling apart.

as you may know from the last post,
i was in a motorcycle accident.,
that’s not really the beginning, though
so let me take you back.

after a long trip across the country,
around california,
and through half of mexico
we arrived back in our home of mazatlan.

upon our return we entered into extreme heat and humidity.
we then had to deal with our car which had died a week after we left mexico.

turns out, the car had a bad alternator, but we thought it was the battery.
so, we bought a new battery
(for way more than we wanted to spend)
then the new battery didn’t fix the problem.
it just died, and thereby made it clear that the alternator was the problem.
after several trips to different mechanics our friend santi found us a used alternator.

we thought it’d be pretty simple to return the new battery
since we didn’t need it, and we never really used it.
and they said, “here’s what we can do for you,
“we will only give you x amount for the return, (not full price)
and we will only give it to you when we manage to resell the battery.”
so basically, we pawned the brand new battery they sold us back to them?
not the most assuring deal- but we could really use the money right now.
so we went with it.

here’s why we need those few bucks…

two days after we returned
i went to the dentist to deal with a broken tooth.
he told me i needed a crown.
naturally, i said, “how much?”
he said a number i didn’t want to hear.
(but it’s still cheaper than in the states with insurance)
so i said, “if i must.”
he said, “you must. you might need a root canal as well.”
and then a bunch of stuff about decay and rot and no teeth.

i called lisa and she said, “do it.”

it would be five visits to the dentist before it was all over.
(this saturday is visit number four)
the pain was getting worse and i ended every day with a major tooth ache and head ache.
i called him up and he said, “go see my friend, i think you need that root canal.”
naturally, i said, “how much?”
he said, ” can’t tell you that till we see it.”

today i had my root canal, then they told me the price.
another number i didn’t want to hear.
but this time i knew i must, because the pain was unbearable.

all the while that i’m dealing with this tooth and brain pain
i’m still on crutches and can’t put full weight on my left heel.
one bonus, is the mean doctor prescribed me some pretty strong stuff for my foot,
but i’ve been using it to survive the tooth torture.

my scabs and bruises are healing up nicely,
except i can’t resist picking at them,
even though it grosses lisa out big time.

but my foot doesn’t seem to want to get better.

we visited the mean doctor again to tell him it had not improved.
he was mad at me for taking off my crap temporary cast
(it bothered me and was crazy hot)
he made a sarcastic comment about “what good patients i have”
and i think lisa almost exploded inside,
since he was going to have me walk out of there with no cast, no crutches, no nothing,
until lisa and steve fought with him the first time, but she bit her tongue.

then he poked my pain spots again over and over and said, “yup it’s swollen.”

“thanks doc! didn’t notice that.”

he then writes up a note for me to start physical therapy.
i had my first appointment today.


by the end of it, it felt great,
then she says, “walk on it for me.”
i think to myself, “but it feels good now.”

she made me walk on it till all the pain came back,
so- now I have six more appointments
to feel good then bad again within an hour.
i’m very optomistic about this.

after that, we go back to mean doctor,
to show him what a good patient i am.

the good news among all this bad is that we have a baby girl on the way!
unfortunately it will cost a bit of money to have her,
but that i am happy to pay for.

money isn’t everything

(although…seems you need it for everything.)
no matter what the cost i know God is in control.
not sure where the money will come from but i know it will come.

to be honest, it doesn’t matter.
what matters is that we are happy
and we are just holding on.

holding on for this next month in great anticipation.
we cannot wait to meet her,
hold her,
and continue loving her.

i guess the point of this post is to say,

things can get pretty bad all at once.
when it does its hard to hold on.
it’s hard to see light, but there is always light.
i could focus on the dark, but the light is so much better.

am i going to waste my time complaining or being in a bad mood?
will i focus on the pain?
or will i hold on and look forward at the amazing things God has coming?

i found a bit of peace in the weirdest place recently…
the song, “keeping holding on” performed by the cast of glee.

yeah that just happened.
have a listen –

God shows his comfort in the strangest places sometimes.

i can’t believe i just tied glee into God’s provision, but hey,
it reminds me that he will provide in any way possible when it’s necessary.

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